Being You

     One of the most important things that you can do for yourself and those around you is to be you. No one else thinks like you, so sometimes you feel the need to be like others and to earn their approval. The truth of the matter is that there are always two sides to a story. There are always two (or three) opinions, so some one will always agree with or accept you, but it might be different people on different topics or at different times. Also, since you are the only person that is exactly like you, you have to fill your niche. The great thing about a niche is that only one thing can occupy that space. As soon as two different things fill the same niche, it disappears. True, in biology many organisms of the same species occupy a niche, but the idea holds true to my arguement. For a species to exist it has to do something that no other species does. If two species play the same role, one will beat out the other in the end. For you to be happy or achieve what ever telos you strive for, you have to be independent from other people. Personally, I strive to be happy. If I begin to think that in order to be happy I must be like another person, or be accepted by another person, it becomes impossible for me to actually be happy. Instead, I become consumed with gaining acceptance rather than just enjoying the characteristics and ways of being that make me who I am.
     On the flip side, I find that when I ignore what others think of me, it somehow comes off as not caring about them or not trying to get along with them. It becomes a question of do I cast off characteristics of myself inorder to make the other person happy? Or is it wrong for the other person to expect me to cast off that characteristic? What if multiple people feel the same way about the offensive characteristic?
     I think the answer lies in doing the right things with the right people. If there is a characteristic that comes out in a certain situation that certain people do not like, then it makes sense simply not to create that situation with those people. As I said before there are always two opinions, so with regard to these possibly offensive characteristics, I just need to find the people who accept those characteristics and do not find them abraisive. I would not need to spend time with those accepting people exclusively, but rather just live out certain characteristics with them when necessary. It is very important not to change yourself for other people because that only leads to resentment and unfulfilment...aka unhappiness.